Believe it or not, the universe doesn’t care how you or I think life should be. Expecting life or other people to conform to our “shoulds” is a formula for creating our own private hell. Judge (discern, evaluate) how life is, but never reject how life is; that’s not judgment, it’s condemnation. When we condemn life for not conforming to our ideals we are rejecting a part of this wonderful universe and we make our own world a little smaller. I believe that this is what Jesus meant when he said “Condemn not that ye not be condemned.”
We all make the choice a thousand times a day: We can turn away from how things are and make our world a little smaller, or we can turn toward how things are and step deeper into the mystery.