The Bearable Bliss of Being.

WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT

Close your eyes and tune into your body. What do you feel? “Nothing, it’s just me”.  Ok, but what does “me” feel like? Tune in calmly, and you will feel a subtle pleasure. A little calm sweetness, so unassuming that it’s easy to ignore. You won’t feel it if you are anxious about something. You won’t feel it if you are feeling avoidant about something. You won’t feel it if you are distracted or in your head. You won’t feel it if your attention is in the past or future.  It requires an unhurried connection to the present moment; a calm curious exploration of what is. It requires that we step out of our knowing into a sense of wonder, because in knowing we cease to be interested in finding more.

This subtle pleasure of the body is present in everyone at all times; I’m going to call it bliss. It’s deep and all pervading, yet completely undemanding. It’s not just for “special people”.  We often find pleasure in affection and sex, and yet I find that physical touch is just an amplification of the pleasure that’s already there; a rather big amplification I must admit.

I think too often we think of bliss as being an excited orgasmic state. It’s not excited, it’s completely calm and grounded. In bliss there is no urgency, we are actually free of desire; we are not trying to push anything away or pull anything toward us. We are just here, enjoying the present moment. In bliss we are full of pleasure, but empty of desire. When “it doesn’t get any better than this”, why would we want something else?

The bliss of being an embodied being is not confined to the sense of touch. Everyday I see a beautiful and ever changing painting up in the sky, full of blues, whites and grays, sometimes misty and soft, sometimes clear and bright, sometimes powerful and full of drama; the sky is just one  often overlooked example. There is beauty all around us if we have eyes to see it; beauty in the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and feelings. We live in a paradise of earthly delights.

Massages are pleasurable and calming. Sex is pleasurable and exciting; or so most of us think. We think the more excited the better, where instead we’d be better off thinking the more pleasurable the better. Excitement tends to pull us out of the present moment, even though pleasure is only available in the present moment. We can find pleasure in all of the moments of our connection to another human being without becoming excited; aroused yes, excited no. If sex is so pleasurable, why do we try to get away from the pleasure we’re feeling right now to get to our future hoped for orgasm? Instead of a rush toward orgasm, we can enjoy the pleasure along the way.  Staying in the unhurried present and letting the pleasure of “right now” absorb into the whole body doesn’t mean we have fewer orgasms or smaller orgasms. By trying to have more we actually get less. The unhurried orgasm can reach peaks of pleasure that reverberate for hours or even days.

Enjoy the gift of embodiment and have a wonderful life.

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